"I DON'T UNDERSTAND GOD, SOMETIMES."

Hey, crew. I was scrolling through Facebook when I found this video, and I want all of you to watch it. I fell in love with it the first time, and I watched it five times before I stopped, and that was only because I had somewhere to be. I completely love this. I love it so much that I could spend hours listening and re-listening to this description of my GOD and of everything I feel put exactly the way I would if I could find the words for it.

I don't get GOD sometimes.

http://vimeo.com/118153545

"I don't understand GOD sometimes.
There, I said it.
I don't understand GOD sometimes-no, I don't understand GOD a lot of the time.
Because sometimes my world is flipped upside down and I'm left hanging by a thread looking up or down or all around trying to figure out what in the world is happening to me.
See, he confuses me.
Loves me, baffles me, holds me, scares me, excites me calls me, shocks me, fools me, fakes me, freaks me, so I don't understand GOD sometimes.
I don't understand why kids are shot at school,
or why girls are sold into sex slavery,
or children are diagnosed with cancer,
or why teens commit suicide,
or why parents lose their jobs,
or natural disasters wipe out thousands,
or why people end up homeless,
or why mothers die of AIDS leaving their kids to have to face the world on their own-I don't understand you sometimes, GOD.
And when I see the sun shine behind the peak of a mountain as the sky explodes with color
Or when rain sings on old leaves,
Or geese paint a V across the clouds,
Or when little feet dance a melody,
Or when the night sky sparkles with stars like a disco ball, or when a little boy smiles so brightly the sun has to put on sunglasses, I don't understand you, GOD.
And then there are the moments those mysterious magical moments when I feel my heart fly inside of me. When my soul wants nothing more than to fall down and praise the one who is worthy.
When the GOD of the universe wraps me up in the biggest, most powerful, most life-giving hug imaginable-When you are closer to me than even I am to me, and I hear your voice mingled with mine-I don't understand you, GOD.
And those other moments-Those menacing, morbid moments when I feel my heart die inside of me. When my soul wants nothing more than to fall down and just stay down.
When those who said they liked me-loved me-hurt me. And tore open my heart leaving me broken and empty and scared and alone far from you, but even farther from myself left alone just me and my scars, I don't get you sometimes, GOD.
That you would take the hand of this sinful...scared...scumbag.
That you would pour your heart out for this wounded heart because in the moments-those menacing, mysterious, magical, morbid moments-every moment, you are with me. 
Beside me, 
Comforting me,
Completing me.
I don't understand GOD sometimes, but we have a GOD who is breathtaking , that is beautiful, that is loving, that is wonderful, that is powerful. 
That is unchanging and true and kind and just and forgiving and vast and incredible and majestic and gentle and deeper than the depths of the seas and grander than the highest peaks, and more intricate than the human brain and bigger than the expanse of space, and older than the very idea of time, and more [insert word here] than any sunset you've ever seen, and more than the word "MORE".
And forgive me, "forgiving" is such a poor and small description of how incredibly amazing this GOD we have is.
He cannot be described and he...loves...us.
This big...but small
just, but merciful,
powerful, but tender,
omnipresent, but personal,
quiet, but loud,
servant, but KING
night and day GOD loves us.
I don't understand GOD sometimes.
But I don't have to.
You are GOD.
And that is more than enough."

I just love everything he said. How can he be so right? How can he have put to words every single thing that goes through my mind when I think of the word GOD?
He is vast, and immeasurable, and I can't describe him anywhere near as well as that guy just did.

Thank you so much for reading. In case you hadn't figured it out, the quote above is exactly what the guy said in the video that the link brings you to, which, by the way, I annotated myself because there doesn't seem to be anything on the internet about it other than that video.
So again, thanks tons!!!

Please like this post, subscribe to my blog! And also, if you have an opinion on this video, or something like it, or anything, please email, or comment :)

Blessings <3

"Dear Friend..."

Okay, so today, I had one of my friends ask me why I hang out with him and the rest of the friends in our friends group, so here is why I hang out with you guys. This is not only to the three who live near me, but to all of you who get me through the hard times even if you don't know it.

Dear good friend,

I love you. I am a hurt person. I have gone through a lot, and that is why I love you. You laugh with me when I am sad, and you make me smile when I think I am going to cry. You are kind to me, and you don't ask questions when I cry, you just comfort me. It is friends like you who let me know that I am human-that I am worth it. And that is a big thing for me.
I have my own way of hurting where I can't tell anyone. If you know me, you know that I don't really like attention. I don't like being the center of it, and I don't like calling it to myself.
When I am upset, or angry, or sad, or lonely, or just need someone to talk to, I look at you, and you make me happy again.
There's no guarantee that life is going to be easy, in fact, God says that life is going to be really hard. "The world is going to hate you" he said. So when it gets rough, and I feel unwanted, or shaken up, or scared, I text you. I call you. I email you. I message you. Anything that will remind me that people love me and care about me, and that there is no need to be afraid.
I love you because you make me happy.
I love you because you are perfectly imperfect.
I love you because God made you.
I love you because you love me, and that is huge.
I can't even say all the reasons why I need you, and why I love you. If you even doubt for a second that I need you, you are dead wrong. I need you so much more than you know for so many more reasons than you know.
There are no words. We are stronger together than we could ever be apart.
I don't know what I would do without you. I might not even be here if it weren't for you, so thank you.
Thank you for loving me, because I love you.

Your friend,

Marisa <3

Seriously, though, thanks so much to all of you who listen to my problems. You guys are awesome. Even if you don't know you are helping, you are. I may not tell you, but you help me. And I don't tell you guys enough how much I love you.

Thanks so much.

Blessings <3

Sniper Part 1

Hey, everyone. Sorry for the delay in posting the story. I haven't gotten as much done as I had hoped. Haha.

I had a good weekend, lots of stuff to do, and another full weekend coming up. I am loving the beautiful weather conditions; yesterday was absolutely gorgeous, in the seventies, and sunny.
So I have only about a page and a half of the story, but I thought I would post it anyways. You guys deserve it for being so patient. :) If you guys have ideas about where it should go, please email me or comment. I am open to suggestions. :)

Sniper

The violin wailed pleasantly in Annabelle Lochton’s ear as she toned herself to the music, slowly adding in her own part, a crescendo, and a new tune, dancing playfully with the other instruments. They created a beautiful melody, but she could hear none of it. There may have been other people on the stage, but in her mind, with her eyes shut tight, there was only her. She paused, slowly dying out, and then moments later coming back in. A harp joined the song, and she smiled to herself.

This was perfection.

A shot rang next to her, and a searing pain roared up her shoulder. Another pierced her back, and her lips opened in a silent scream. She did not make a sound as she fell to the floor, and the last thing she saw was her mahogany violin falling to the wooden stage, blood splattered on the front, and the strings humming a sad note.

+

Black.

Black around her

Black underneath her

But then there was red. She remembered the red. Blood.

She fell again back into sleep’s deep embrace.

+

When Annabelle woke, she found that the rigid blacks had faded to not-pleasant browns and greens. She sat up swiftly, crying out as searing pain shot up her arm and into her head. Panic took her over. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed on which she lay and slid off the side, nearly falling before a tanned hand pressed her gently back into the blanket.. She struggled against him, increasing the pain in her shoulder, but subdued when the pain came to be too much. The momentum of her surrender sent her falling back onto the cushions, and releasing another burst of pain into her spine.

“Sorry.” the man muttered. He began to walk around the room, gathering things; a bottle here, a rag there, and finally coming to rest at her bedside. He lowered the shoulder of her shirt, exposing her skin to the unknown man. Her first instinct was to bat away his hands, but when he put a needle into her arm, she felt weak and sunk lower into her bed. The dim light allowed her little vision of her captor. She watched silently as he peeled back her shirt, and dabbed a cloth at the accumulating blood. She gritted her teeth. The rag came away red. The man finished his work and bandaged her shoulder well, tightly, but not too tightly.

“Rest.” he said, quietly, “You have been shot.”

No?! she thought to herself. I’ve been shot?!

She closed her eyes and did her best to rest, but found that sleeping in a place where you do not know is more than slightly unnerving, and found little rest in the burrow. She looked around as she was unable to move much. She finally found a digital clock and found the time to be around 3 AM just before she fell asleep.

+

Thanks so much for reading. I already have a back story for most of the people, but again, if you have any ideas about where it should go, or anything that you think would make it more interesting, please let me know.

Thanks again. :)

Have a blessed week. Lord-willing, I will post again soon,

<3