"Because real love is a promise, not a feeling. God created us to express love that way. Expressing anything less, no matter what temporary heights you reach, robs everyone, including yourself. You see, God, made us to be highly motivated to want the promise much more than just the feeling alone. It is the only way to make the whole thing last and get every last best drop of those precious feelings to be had from it! It is the only way to feel safe in our relationships and with ourselves. Break the promise and every thing thereafter is set up to fall short and be suspect from even the tiniest dread of betrayal."
Love is a promise. A vow.
It is a promise not to leave, and never to forsake. God loved us first-from the very beginning, from before our beginning even existed, and insodoing, He set an example for us. An example that tells a story. One of love and adoration. When Christ died on the cross, He promised to love and always do what is best for us.
In the same manner, when a man gets down on one knee, and asks a woman to marry him, He is promising to her (as she is to him if she says yes) that he will love her, choose her over any other, protect her, listen to her, commit to her, hold her when she is crying, laugh with her, forgive her, and never stop promising those things until the day he dies.
C.S. Lewis perfectly states: “Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling… Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go… But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from “being in love” — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriage) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God… “Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.” (C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)
You can love someone without being in love, just as you might "be in love" with someone who you do not truly love. You can get those sweet, fuzzy emotions every time you see them, but unless you are willing to truly promise them your forever, you do not love them.
Love is a sacred promise. Unbreakable, sweet, innocent, unmovable, and forever.
Malachi 2:16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful."
If you are unwilling to promise all these things: faithfulness, patience, kindness, gentleness, a listening ear, etc then you have no business saying you love anyone.
"So we are given such strength to keep that promise by a Maker who knows that we can…even under the most trying of circumstances (Hosea). God demonstrated that it was possible to love even the adulterous nation of Israel and by such love to lead them back to restoration of their covenant marriage.
As the brother of leading Christian apologist, Ravi Zacharias, explained to him on the eve of his own marriage: “Write this down and don’t ever forget it. If you will to love someone, you can.”."
The world tempts us to believe that in order to love someone, we must know them. We read in stories about arranged marriages in which people are unhappy.
Ravi Zacharias reassures us that "If you will to love someone, you can".
Love is always possible. But you have to be willing to promise it, and dedicate your life to it, first.