Tuesday, February 10, 2015

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND GOD, SOMETIMES."

Hey, crew. I was scrolling through Facebook when I found this video, and I want all of you to watch it. I fell in love with it the first time, and I watched it five times before I stopped, and that was only because I had somewhere to be. I completely love this. I love it so much that I could spend hours listening and re-listening to this description of my GOD and of everything I feel put exactly the way I would if I could find the words for it.

I don't get GOD sometimes.

http://vimeo.com/118153545

"I don't understand GOD sometimes.
There, I said it.
I don't understand GOD sometimes-no, I don't understand GOD a lot of the time.
Because sometimes my world is flipped upside down and I'm left hanging by a thread looking up or down or all around trying to figure out what in the world is happening to me.
See, he confuses me.
Loves me, baffles me, holds me, scares me, excites me calls me, shocks me, fools me, fakes me, freaks me, so I don't understand GOD sometimes.
I don't understand why kids are shot at school,
or why girls are sold into sex slavery,
or children are diagnosed with cancer,
or why teens commit suicide,
or why parents lose their jobs,
or natural disasters wipe out thousands,
or why people end up homeless,
or why mothers die of AIDS leaving their kids to have to face the world on their own-I don't understand you sometimes, GOD.
And when I see the sun shine behind the peak of a mountain as the sky explodes with color
Or when rain sings on old leaves,
Or geese paint a V across the clouds,
Or when little feet dance a melody,
Or when the night sky sparkles with stars like a disco ball, or when a little boy smiles so brightly the sun has to put on sunglasses, I don't understand you, GOD.
And then there are the moments those mysterious magical moments when I feel my heart fly inside of me. When my soul wants nothing more than to fall down and praise the one who is worthy.
When the GOD of the universe wraps me up in the biggest, most powerful, most life-giving hug imaginable-When you are closer to me than even I am to me, and I hear your voice mingled with mine-I don't understand you, GOD.
And those other moments-Those menacing, morbid moments when I feel my heart die inside of me. When my soul wants nothing more than to fall down and just stay down.
When those who said they liked me-loved me-hurt me. And tore open my heart leaving me broken and empty and scared and alone far from you, but even farther from myself left alone just me and my scars, I don't get you sometimes, GOD.
That you would take the hand of this sinful...scared...scumbag.
That you would pour your heart out for this wounded heart because in the moments-those menacing, mysterious, magical, morbid moments-every moment, you are with me. 
Beside me, 
Comforting me,
Completing me.
I don't understand GOD sometimes, but we have a GOD who is breathtaking , that is beautiful, that is loving, that is wonderful, that is powerful. 
That is unchanging and true and kind and just and forgiving and vast and incredible and majestic and gentle and deeper than the depths of the seas and grander than the highest peaks, and more intricate than the human brain and bigger than the expanse of space, and older than the very idea of time, and more [insert word here] than any sunset you've ever seen, and more than the word "MORE".
And forgive me, "forgiving" is such a poor and small description of how incredibly amazing this GOD we have is.
He cannot be described and he...loves...us.
This big...but small
just, but merciful,
powerful, but tender,
omnipresent, but personal,
quiet, but loud,
servant, but KING
night and day GOD loves us.
I don't understand GOD sometimes.
But I don't have to.
You are GOD.
And that is more than enough."

I just love everything he said. How can he be so right? How can he have put to words every single thing that goes through my mind when I think of the word GOD?
He is vast, and immeasurable, and I can't describe him anywhere near as well as that guy just did.

Thank you so much for reading. In case you hadn't figured it out, the quote above is exactly what the guy said in the video that the link brings you to, which, by the way, I annotated myself because there doesn't seem to be anything on the internet about it other than that video.
So again, thanks tons!!!

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Blessings <3