Thursday, August 27, 2015

"Lonely Nights"

Hey, gems.

I wrote flash-fiction!!! :) I thought I'd share. It's only a couple pages. Not very long. (Is that still flash fiction???) ;)

Anyways, it's called "Lonely Nights".

Here you go. :)

Elise walked out of Subway - her third job in the last year - And intertwined her fingers with his. Half-smiling over at him, she swept her thumb over his knuckles. As they continued on their way home, a thought shot into Elise’s head.
“Adam?”
“Yes?”
“Can we have an emotion conversation for a minute?” She heard him smile fondly.
“Of course, Lise.”
Elise sighed and gripped his hand a little tighter. She couldn’t get close enough. “A year ago, when I was 19, and really for the couple years before that, I never thought I’d find anyone.” The dark prevented Elise from seeing his smile disappear, and become replaced with knit brows.
“Why?”
Elise bit her lower lip. “Because...” she sniffed her tears back, “I never had. And the world kept saying...’not pretty enough...not smart enough...not tough enough.’ and finally, I believe that I would never be enough of anything. My friends-they were all getting in more permanent relationships, and Janis, living with her, and watching perfectly decent people throw themselves at her, and get rejected...I just...how could I ever be that amazing?”
Their fingers tightened again, providing comfort for her as she continued.
“I...have never loved anyone like I have loved you. You’re just...too good to be true.” She felt a kiss light on her head.
“I love you, Lise.”
The tears could no longer be held back. They filled her lower-eyelids and finally began dripping into the dirt at her feet. “And I...I will never get tired of hearing you say that. I love you all the more for always reminding me of that.”
Silence followed for a few minutes, only filled by Elise’s occasional sniffing.
“I know...that I say I love you a lot. I’m sorry...that I’m difficult, and not as pretty as some girls, and that I need to to try several times before convincing me that you love me back, and that I am good enough for you, and I’m so...so sorry, Adam, I just love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Elise. I always will.”
More tears spattered on her toes. “Never leave me?”
“Never.”
“Oh, Adam,” she said, whispering now, and holding his hand as tight as she could, “You’re so too good to be true, and I wish...I wish...”
“I know, Lise. I know.”
Sobs wracked Elise’s body as reality set in.
“Adam, I wish you were real.” the tears came freely now, she didn’t even try to hold them in. Anyone watching would have seen the dark silhouette of a crying girl walking on the sidewalk. Elise wept, hoping against all hope that maybe her wish would come true. She sighed, and blinked away the remaining tears from her eyes.
Please, Adam. Please be real.”

Her fist finally closed, breaking the charade she had carried so far, and finally admitting to her heart that there had never been anyone there.

There it is. I hope you guys enjoyed. (Yes, that's the end.) I thought of it while I was on a walk tonight. :) Please give me feedback!!! :)

Blessings. Have a wonderful week :)

4 comments:

  1. ;( Awww wow. That poor girl needs a hug.

    I like the twist. You did it really well.
    One hint tho. The last sentence could pack a bigger punch if you just put... "Her fingers finally closed on themselves..." or something like that. Perhaps a little less flowetry as that hehe. But yeah. You told your reader that Adam wasn't real through your dialogue, so you don't need to repeat it. Closing with a little action beat packs all that emotion and meaning into fewer words - and it's showing, not telling. :D

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